Christ Illusion

Slayer. Bless their hearts, those guys hate religion as much as I do. But let me set one thing straight, so as not to offend anyone I don't intend to. I take no issue with faith. It seems to me you either really have faith or you really don't, and there's not much you can do about it either way. Some people can curl their tongue, some can't...no point in getting on a soapbox and rendering judgment. On the other hand I do take issue with religion, being any totalitarian system of thought invented to expand the power of a particular organization. Religion makes me angry, Hulk smash angry. That's where Slayer comes in, to smash my eardrums with some steeple-toppling catharsis. The various bands of Scott "Stza" Sturgeon (namely Choking Victim, Leftöver Crack, Star Fucking Hipsters) provide this public service as well, and Stza is not shy about quoting a Slayer riff here and there to beef up his crack rock steady. (Yet somehow no music is cathartic enough to relax those kids who burn churches in Norway...maybe they're just trying to keep warm.)

Four bands are the universally accepted pillars of thrash metal: Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer. Metallica you know. Megadeth is Metallica's less talented little brother who overcompensates by playing even faster! Anthrax has that guy with the raccoon tail beard who is constantly Loving the '80s on VH1. Slayer is the One Ring to rule them all. Metallica will always be more popular (because they are uncontroversial) but even they live in awe of Slayer's might.

But I've misrepresented the band's stance on religion — the truth is more interesting. While guitarist Kerry King is indeed an outspoken atheist and author of Slayer's most polemical lyrics, the guy actually shouting such lines as Religion is hate / Religion is fear / Religion is war into the mic is singer/bassist Tom Araya, a devout Catholic. When asked about how he reconciles his faith with the message proclaimed by the album God Hates Us All (released on 9/11) Araya replied "God doesn't hate. But it's a great fucking title."

Eyes of the Insane is the Grammy-winning track off the latest album, Christ Illusion (2006), but King has said that Jihad is the album's best. I don't dare disagree. There's something about that song that reels the puny human brain, like an angle that appears to be acute yet behaves as if obtuse. I think that mother is being performed backward.