London Boys, Part II

There are earlier, more primitive instances of the musical tit-for-tat that gangsta rap made its stock in trade. Naturally the Beatles were there first [rolls eyes]: Lennon felt slighted by McCartney's Too Many People and shot back with How Do You Sleep? Neil Young's indictment of Dixie, Southern Man, didn't sit well with Lynyrd Skynyrd, who penned Sweet Home Alabama to let Neil know that they don't need him around, anyhow. But my favorite is the frothy scuffle between the Sex Pistols and the New York Dolls; the first and most notorious UK punks and their neglected American predecessor.

Johnny Rotten picks a fight on the inconspicuous Pistols track, New York. Rotten wastes no time introducing himself and his associates or making preliminary remarks about the verbal thrashing he's about to administer, as would be customary in Bed-Stuy, but instead opens with his primary attack:

An imitation from New York
You're made in Japan from cheese and chalk
You're hippy tarts hero cos you put on a bad show
You put on a bad show, oh don't it show?

Ouch, Rotten goes for the jugular, calling the Dolls a cheap imitation of a rock band and downright poor performers, further suggesting that these shortcomings are apparent to all. Anything made from cheese and chalk sounds hasty and unappealing to me, although I question whether these would be the most readily available materials in Japan, given the low incidence of lactose tolerance among East Asians. But of course, cheese and chalk is the limey equivalent of apples and oranges, so if one translates the slang naively it sounds as if the Dolls are a fruit salad, which is tasty and good. Two people separated by a common language, indeed. Rotten makes much of the association with Japan, where the Dolls were quite popular, going on to say:

You think it's swell playing in Japan
Well everybody knows Japan is a dishpan

He sets up an effective straw man, undermining the Dolls' credibility and diminishing their apparent success by ridiculing the overseas fan base. I presume that "hippy tarts" refers to Japanese youth, who are sometimes said to have astonishingly poor taste. Now comes Rotten's secondary attack. After inquiring whether the boys are "still out on those pills, oh do you remember?" — a jab at the Dolls' penchant for prescription drugs that implies pursuant mental deterioration — Rotten advises,

With nothing in your gut you better keep your mouth shut
You better keep you mouth shut, in a rut

and adds:

Four years on you still look the same
I think it's bout time you changed your brain

This song is the Pistols' effort to kill their idols. As nominal anarchists their mission was to demolish the existing order; thus they paint New York's preeminent protopunks as tired, do-nothing has-beens, all flash and no conviction. A parting blow mocks the Dolls for their glam-drag fashions,

You're just a pile of shit, you're coming to this
You poor little faggot, you're sealed with a kiss

and finally Rotten name-checks the Dolls song Looking For a Kiss, in case there was any doubt as to whom he's referring. The Dolls are sealed and concluded, never mind the bollocks.